On Palm Sunday, before our morning services, I posted a reflection and prayer at Prairie Preacher and Meditative Moments, respectively, and then started to work on my reflection for the Sunday Morning worship service. As I struggled to find an appropriate reading from the various resources I have gathered over the years I realized that what I was feeling compelled to reflect on, was what I had just posted on my blogs.
I took a moment to re-read both the reflection on Prairie Preacher, and the prayer I had posted on Meditative Moments, and I thought - 'why can't I use my own words?'
In the quiet of the morning, I realized that the ONLY reason I couldn't use my own words was the hammering I had experienced in my past experiences within the Church ... the self doubt was a result of a defensiveness that came as a result of being battered and bashed within the Church ...
A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a colleague and friend and in the course of our conversation he offered an off-handed observation by saying "move forward and be aware of where the negative of the past seeps in."
My hesitation and reluctance to use MY OWN WORDS, is EXACTLY that seepage ... the harsh criticism of the past has debilitated me and has created HUGE self-doubt ...
Yesterday, reflecting on the affirmation I received from Blake (The Laughing Pastor) on his blog, and from others via Facebook, I decided that it was okay to trust in my own words this time. I've long stressed the importance of living the words offered by Ms Frizzle, the teacher on the tv show "The Magic School Bus" who says "take chances, make mistakes and get messy" but I have sometimes been less willing to live those words out myself ...
So, in that moment I decided it was time to 'take chances, make mistakes, and get messy' when it comes to my preaching, and instead of finding a reading or quotation from someone else, I NEEDED to let MY words guide me ...
As a result, the sermon below is a melding of my reflection and my prayer. The words I had posted moments before, were the very words I wanted to offer in worship during our Palm Sunday Service. Rather than trying to find a poem by Ann Weems, or a reading from the Iona Community, I instead decided to speak the words I had written, and trust in the Spirit ...
For what they're worth, here they are:
And so it begins ...
in the quiet of the breaking dawn
we hear the clip clop of approaching hooves,
you approach the city ...
a city unaware of what is about to unfold ...
a city asleep in its complacency
a city waiting for God, but unprepared ...
Your entry becomes triumphant
with waving palms,
celebrating crowds,
and shouts of HOSANNA!!!
Your disciples follow along
laughing, singing, shouting,
they feel the surge of power
they feel the Holiness
they feel the possibilities ...
But soon the Hosannas turn to horror
first come shouts of 'how dare YOU'
as tables are overturned
baskets thrown
animals set free
This is My Father's House
you dare to shout.
How Dare YOU
they chant back ...
And so the Hosannas slip away
the enthusiasm wanes
the smiles on their faces turn to scowls.
The week begins and we know where it leads ...
May we have the courage to follow
May we have the faith to endure
May we have no fear of the shadowy corners
and the dark places ...
And so it begins ... this week of remembering
this week of facing our deepest fears,
this week of a world that dared to kill its Hope ...
And so it begins ... this journey to Resurrection ...
Let us Pray:
O Servant King,
we hear you approaching.
The clip clop of hooves grows ever louder,
the rustle of palm branches and cloaks grows urgent,
we hear you coming, but we are not ready ...
Our expectations are not yours,
what we want differs from what you offer,
we want a Triumphant entry into the city,
we want victory and rejoicing
we want to feel the surge of Holiness ...
But in the coming hours our enthusiasm will wane,
our passion will cool
our cheers will turn to jeers
and like your disciples we too will abandon you ...
We will busy ourselves with other things,
plans for the long weekend,
dinners and gatherings,
chocolates and treats,
preparations for the celebrations to come ...
And we'll forget the long dark days
we'll avoid the shadowy places,
we'll stay clear of the loneliness and suffering.
It's all too much for us,
so we will leap from Hosannas to Hallelujahs
avoiding the horrors that lie between ...
Forgive us O God,
Forgive us and love us despite our shortsightedness.
Be with us today, and in the coming days,
let us hear the gentle clip clop of hooves on the stones,
let us hear the shuffle of sandals in the dusty streets
let us hear the echo of shouts in the halls and courtyards
let us hear the thunderous silence of your disciples,
let us hear the bloody thwack of whips, slaps and suffering
let us hear, even if we stop our ears,
the events and happenings in the streets ...
Events and Happenings that lead us from
the triumphant entry into the city
to the quiet prayers over bread and wine
to the empassioned pleas in a darkened garden
to the suffering and the dying ...
O Servant King,
be with us in the coming days ...
take us by the hand and lead us ...
lead us to the shadowy places that await us
and give us the courage to persist in our journey ...
O Servant King,
hear our prayer ... AMEN
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